Over the years I have become particularly interested in how we visualise cancer in our own bodies. When i found a lump in my neck in my late twenties, I had a visual image of what was going on that probably had nothing to do with the science of the thyroid and everything to do with how i was feeling and how my mind’s eye works. Initially I received the diagnosis that the lump on my thyroid was benign – at which point I stopped thinking about it so much. A revision of the pathology results and a reclassification of the diagnosis to a malignancy focused my attention very much back on what was happening in my body. I can still recall much of how I visualised the progression from feeling the lump in the first place though the initial diagnosis and then during further treatment.

Since i started to pursue art as a career I have followed this interest in how we imagine what’s taking place in our bodies when we are well and when we are not. I absolutely don’t expect that everyone’s visualisation style will match mine and I also don’t imagine that other people’s visualisation of what’s happening inside them will necessarily match to the science of their condition any more than mine did – though it might. For me there was much too much emotion influencing what I ‘saw’. Nonetheless – or more probably because of that – I am intrigued about the imagery that populates our minds when something changes in our bodies or we’re told that something has gone wrong.

Last year I was lucky enough to work on a project that allowed me to partner with an individual to explore with them their experiences of cancer and chemotherapy and how it played out in their own mind’s eye. The result was several pieces of artwork that reflected their sense of how cancer and chemotherapy worked its way through their body. For this project I wanted to continue to involve people dealing with cancer themselves, finding a way to connect with people who are interested in the project; patients are, after all, the reason that the London Cancer Hub exists at all. Thanks to the support of the Patient and Public Involvement and Engagement Team at the Royal Marsden, and their platform, the Cancer Patient’s Voice (see previous posts) I was able to get in contact with some patients who had expressed an interest in taking part.

As a result I was lucky enough to speak with several patients who were undergoing active treatment or who were under ongoing observation. I had fascinating and wide-ranging conversations with all of them about their treatment, their experiences of the LCH and about how they visualised their disease, both in terms of their personal experiences and in relation to the science they had learned as part of their treatment. Rather than going into detail about each of the conversations, in my next post on this theme I am going to consolidate some of the outcomes of our conversations.

Each of the people who talked with me were generous enough to give me permission – despite the very personal nature of their stories – to use their observations and experiences as inspiration for artwork and potentially within the artwork itself.  I am enormously grateful to all of them for their generosity and help.